Weekly D'var

PARASHAT MATOT-MASEI
Josh Gutstein

Forgiveness

In today’s double parsha of Matot-Masei, I am going to focus on the dominant story of Matot.

In the parsha Gd spoke to Moshe saying, נְקֹ֗ם נִקְמַת֙ בְּנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֔ל מֵאֵ֖ת הַמִּדְיָנִ֑ים אַחַ֖ר תֵּאָסֵ֥ף אֶל־עַמֶּֽיךָ׃ 
“take revenge for the Children of Israel on the Midianites; then you will be gathered to your people.” (Bamidbar 31:1) And the parsha continues with Israel destroying Midyan and subsequently dividing its plunder. This push relates to an episode told at the end of the parsha we read two weeks ago, a tale of sex and idol worship, a devious plan by Moav with Midyan’s help, and as a result, the killing of 24,000 Israelites by Israelites calmed Gd’s anger.

With Gd’s anger abated, I thought this matter was settled at in last week’s parsha. Why was Gd now encouraging revenge and if it is called for, why attack only Midyan and not Moav too?

This story began at the end of Parshat Balak (25:1). The Israelites settled in Shittim, and that’s when the trouble started. Some Israelites started whoring themselves with Moabite and Midyanite women, who in turn introduced the Israelite men to their god Baal Peor.  Then those Israelite men accepted Baal Peor. If that’s not enough, Zimri the son of a leader in the tribe of Shimon, brought Cozbi, a Midianite princess, right in front of Moshe and in front of everyone, and took her into a tent. Those present cried at the sight of such audaciousness. Phineas son of Elazar son of Aharon the Kohen saw what was going on, grabbed a spear, bounded into the tent, and impaled them both right through their stomachs.  To stop the plague of debauchery and idol worship, Jews killed 24,000 Jews that day. Gd at said that time, at the start of Parshat Pinchas, the act of Phineas spared everyone his jealousy בְּקַנְא֥וֹ אֶת־קִנְאָתִ֖י (25:11). Crisis averted.

So back to the present story. Why now take vengeance on Midyan when Jews paid dearly for the sins? 

When humans hunger for revenge, it is like a brain on drugs. Grievances, real or imagined, activate the “Pain Network” in the brain’s anterior insula. And where there pain, our brains will seek to rebalance it with pleasure. 

In the case of revenge, we get a rush from thinking about retaliating. The nucleus accubens, associated with craving, and the dorsal striatum, associated with habit formation, light up much like in the brains of drug addicts. Dopamine levels surge and crash, but it is a different craving. If you do seek vengeance, you have to hurt someone else. And then you feel good, at least for a while, until they turn around and avenge you!

Could Gd really have meant avenge in this human sense?  Is vengeance not even permitted? As it says in Vayikra:
לֹֽא־תִקֹּ֤ם וְלֹֽא־תִטֹּר֙ אֶת־בְּנֵ֣י עַמֶּ֔ךָ וְאָֽהַבְתָּ֥ לְרֵעֲךָ֖ כָּמ֑וֹךָ אֲנִ֖י ה׃ 
You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against members of your people. Love your fellow as yourself: I am יה. (Vayikra 19:18)

So, is Gd really setting up Moshe for one last hit? Give him a rush for avenging a past wrong?

A closer read of the situation reveals this is not a simple tit for tat revenge. It is Gd strengthening the Children of Israel one last time before they head into the Land of Israel.

Rashi explains the threat of Midyan. That while Balak king of Moav was frightened of Israel and sought to attack, they brought in the heavy, the Midianites. Midyan just got excited to attack for a problem that was not theirs. After the initial scheme of Bilam cursing the Israelites failed, the rabbis hold that Bilam masterminded this debauchery plan in which Midyan enthusiastically participated. And the impact of this plan was most insidious.

The Gemara spells out in more detail what happened.  Rav Chisda (Sanhedrin 82a) says:  The tribe of Shimon went to Zimri, son of Salu, their leader, and said to him: “They are judging cases of capital law and executing us and you are sitting and are silent?” What did Zimri do? He arose and gathered twenty-four thousand people from the children of Israel, and went to Princess Cozbi, daughter of King Zur, and said to her: “Submit to me.” She said to him: “I am the daughter of a king, and this is what my father commanded me: ‘Submit only to the greatest of them.’” Zimri said to her: “He, too,” referring to himself, “is the head of a tribe; moreover, he is greater than Moshe, as he is the second of the womb, as he descends from Shimon, the second son of Jacob, and Moshe is the third of the womb, as he descends from Levi, the third son of Jacob.

Then Zimri seized Cozbi by her forelock and brought her before Moshe. Zimri said to Moshe: ‘Son of Amram, is this woman forbidden or permitted? And if you say that she is forbidden, as for the daughter of Yitro to whom you are married, who permitted her to you?’” It was this challenge that caused those present to weep.

So, at the moment when the Children of Israel are set to enter the promised land, and Moshe is set to be gathered unto his ancestors, Zimri publicly challenges the new religious order Moshe probably thought was settled. 

This is not the Midyan who hosted the young Moshe, who gave him his wife. This is the present Midyan that was poised to strike if Bilam successfully curse the Israelites and this is the Midyan enthusiastically participating in the nefarious plan at Shittim. This is the Midyan that is now camped menacingly outside Israel’s camp. Israel was threatened by Midyan spiritually and physically. 

Gd is telling Moshe about the last threat that has to be eradicated before Moshe can set the people off on their own. 

So Midyan had to be delt with, and they successfully eradicated Midyan. They killed all of the men and Bilam too, and all of the women who participated in the Shittim episode.  But what about Moav? Why wasn’t Moav punished too? 

They were forgiven. A 2008 Yale School of Medicine study discovered that the one concept that that cures the addict-like drive for revenge is forgiveness. Simply imagining forgiving a grievance (with or without informing the transgressor) deactivates your brain’s pain network. Unlike the addict’s drive, forgiveness can erase the desire to revenge.

Gd forgave Moav, Moshe then forgave Moav and everyone did too.  Why? While Midyan’s good was in the past, Moav’s was yet to be.  Rashi points out that Ruth, of “you go I go” fame and great-grandmother to King David, was from Moav and Naamah the Ammonitess, was to be a wife of Solomon. Later in Parshat Masei, amid listing Israel encampments, and recording that Ahron dies at the age of 123 (and there is no public mourning! Something to think about), Moshe addressed the Children of Israel on the plains of Moav.  Moshe tells the nation and Gd tells Moshe to tell the nation, laws to abide by when they cross over into Canaan.  And this important moment again occurred in the plains of Moav without any disturbance by Moav. In Devarim Moshe also dies in Moav.

Forgiveness is one of thirteen attributes of Gd: נֹשֵׂ֥א עָוֺ֛ן וָפֶ֖שַׁע וְחַטָּאָ֑ה forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin. (Exodus 34:6-7) Proverbs states ט֤וֹב אֶ֣רֶךְ אַ֭פַּיִם מִגִּבּ֑וֹר וּמֹשֵׁ֥ל בְּ֝רוּח֗וֹ מִלֹּכֵ֥ד עִֽיר׃ 
Better to be forbearing than mighty, To have self-control than to conquer a city. (Proverbs 16:32). The Gemara says, “The Holy One, Blessed be He, loves three people: One who does not get angry; one who does not get drunk; and one who is forgiving (those who do not insist on exacting punishment for wrongs done to them).” (Pesachim 113b:2)

There are times when what looks like revenge is really neutralizing a threat so it does not happen again. There are other times when if you find yourself wronged, imagining forgiveness is definitely the better option. And so this we learn from Matot-Masei: often it is better to forgive!